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Experts agree that January is when the most inquiries about separation and divorce are made, so much so that it is dubbed ‘Divorce Month’ by many in the legal sector.
It is assumed that couples usually wait for the New Year to announce ‘D Day’ as result of fear and anxiety about their family, the cost of divorce and generally upsetting their partner.
Yet according to Anna Pasternak, best-selling author and Andrew Wallas, renowned psychotherapist and relationship guru, who have teamed up to write ‘Call Off The Search‘, a book about staying together, all could be avoided if ‘partners told to truth’.
Failed relationships
‘Most people fail in relationships because they are not honest enough with each other’ says Andrew, a practicing psychotherapist of 25 years, ‘what we advocate is that couples should just tell the truth. Be honest with themselves and be absolutely honest with their partner.
‘It’s astonishing some couples seem happier to see their relationship end than to actually sit down and tell the truth to one another’.
Anna and Andrew who are now married, have put together a self-help relationship book, that analyses their own relationship, identifying problems and solutions to help others.
The book also suggests exercises and tips on how to avoid the common mistakes, in addition to offerings advice on how to break the cycle of moods, sulks, rage, power struggles and typical arguments and break through to a new level of truth, honesty and real intimacy that accompanies a loving relationship.
Anna said: “Sometimes I feel as though I have an honesty disability, I feel like I can’t not tell the truth.
“But if you have the courage to speak your truth and achieve a level of honesty you actually cut through things far quicker. So many of us feel so many things but we suppress it.”
Governmental measures
Statistics show the biggest reason for splitting up is ‘falling out of love’ at 27% – greater than one of the partners having an affair (25%).
This year the government have pledged a further £10 million towards legal aid for mediation between couples Family Justice Minister Lord McNally said: All too often money is wasted on expensive and traumatic court hearings that can take far too long to resolve – and that is why we want to help people to use mediation, a quicker and simpler approach which brings better outcomes.’
According to a report by the Leisure Database Company, the couple’s self-help business has generated around £60 million in Britain alone in the last 5 years.
Call off the Search discusses taboo subjects such as: hatred, revenge, sexual jealousy, shattered dreams and shame all of which emerge, not only in marriage, but throughout relationships.
The book tries to answer the key question: With 7 billion people on the planet – all searching for the same thing – why do so few of us find true intimacy and partnership?
Call of the search is now available for purchae via Ebay.
