There are so many ways of knowing that you’re in an unhealthy relationship. Maybe your partner hits you. That’s definitely a major problem. Maybe your partner doesn’t listen to you. Less major, but still a problem. Maybe the two of you just can’t seem to agree on anything. That one is definitely a big problem for lots of couples. But how do you know you’re actually in a healthy relationship?
Well, I believe there are 6 sure ways of knowing that you’re in a healthy relationship with another person and here they are.
1. Both of you are willing to make sacrifices for each other
I’ve met, and dated, many people who I was willing to go an extra 500 miles for and they were not willing to go a millimeter for me. You know you’re in a healthy relationship when you need something and your partner is willing to sacrifice something of value to them to give you what you need. Maybe it’s their sleep they sacrifice when they look after you while you’re ill. Maybe it’s a couple of quid to help you by that new outfit you want, or Maybe it’s just the last bite of a brownie.
If you find yourself in a relationship with someone and they’re never willing to do anything for you, it’s safe to kindly excuse yourself from that relationship quickly. Conversely, if you find yourself not being willing to give anything to your partner, taking a break or breaking up all together is a safe bet because it’s likely that your relationship and perhaps even you yourself need to be analysed before it goes further.
2. You trust your partner and your partner trusts you
If you find yourself looking through your partner’s phone or catch them looking through yours, it’s time to leave them. It is impossible to grow in a healthy relationship if you don’t trust someone.
Lack of trust can manifest itself in many ways, but you know if you don’t trust someone and you know if they don’t trust you either. If you can’t ask your partner a question or they can’t ask you any, you’re with the wrong person. Relationships need trust to work, it might not happen instantly but it must be something you are both willing to work on.
3. You both need your space, ME time is important
While you like to be with each other, you are both autonomous beings. With that being said, having time for yourself is key. Being clingy is a sign of weakness. To be in an effective and healthy relationship, both people need to be strong, healthy and independent to some degree. Independent doesn’t mean single, you can still be self reliant and be in a happy and healthy relationship.
If your partner constantly needs to talk to you or you need to always talk to them, one person is using the other as a crutch which isn’t really a relationship at all. There’s a difference between wanting and needing. We need air to breath, you don’t necessarily need to speak to your partner every hour to survive.
4. Both of you have a desire to build the other up.
If you’re constantly bringing your partner down and never seeing the good in them or being a victim of this, this is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. However, willing to be and having a cheerleader in a partner is a healthy sign.
Your partner should be willing to be your cheerleader, even when you can’t be your own. You and your partner should also be willing to prune each other lovingly. This means that you should be able to tell your partner that something is wrong with them and they should not take it personally. You should also be able to accept that you’re not perfect. If your partner tells you that you’re a bit messy, you should learn to be cleaner . Of course, this does not apply to a total personality makeover; if you want everything about them to be different, then maybe you should just be with someone else.
5. You’re proud of your partner and your partner is proud of you
If you never find yourself thinking how lucky you are to be with your partner, you’re in the wrong relationship. If you’ve never caught your partner bragging about you, you’re with the wrong person.
You should look at your partner and think “WOW! This person is absolutely amazing!” and they should be able to look at you and think the same. They should be happy to talk about you in public and for you to meet their friends, colleagues or family, they shouldn’t hide you like a secret.
6. Enjoy each others company
I can’t tell you how many times I have hated one of my boyfriends and not known it. If they asked me to hang out, I would’ve wanted to have my teeth pulled instead with no anesthesia. But if you dread it when you’re doing anything with your partner, then you’re with the wrong person. This can manifest itself in other ways than just you thinking, “Damnit, he/she asked me to hang out tonight and all I want is an excuse not to.”
A sign that you like being around your partner and they like being around you is that you can sit silently without feeling awkward or the urge to fill the silence with words. If all you ever want to do with your partner is have sex, you don’t like the person, you like the sex!
Relationships, like most other things, are hard work and will take a lot out of you. However, finding the person that you’re willing to do all of that work for can be very rewarding! You just want to make sure that you’re in a healthy, working relationship!
What do you think are the ingredients to healthy relationship?
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